Thankful heart

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I come from a household that stressed the importance of a thankful heart. It was drilled in us on how much we had to be thankful for. When my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer I began to feel a shift in so much of who I was, and it became harder to see what I had to be thankful for. And then when she passed away, forget about it. It was a really difficult time and for a while I was very angry with God. I could not understand why He couldn�t just have answered our prayers because we prayed so hard and we believed that He would heal her.

Then 2016 came and rocked what I thought my future would hold. Having to choose between my uterus and my life was a hard decision which now thinking of it, there was no choice to make. Always choose life. After that experience, I would have thought that I would be gone and that there was no going back to who I once was but it was at this time that my thankful heart began to emerge once again. I can't even tell you how thankful I was to be alive, how thankful I was to be given another chance to do it all again, better and quite possibly differently.

I have so, so much to be thankful for. Yes, I no longer have my beautiful mom who was my absolutely favorite person in the world and I won�t ever be pregnant but I�m alive. I get to laugh, travel, eat (big deal to me, ha) and love. I have an amazing husband, incredible friends and the most loving family. I get to watch my nieces and nephews grow up and make sure that during this time I develop close relationships with them. I get to wake up from a warm bed, in a home that I love, with a person that I love and go into work because I�m healthy enough. I get to watch my furbabies get so happy when I get home that their tails wag so hard that it actually hurts when it hits me. I get to watch the sunrise and the sunset (for free!) and with my camera I can freeze my favorite moments into time. I�m thankful that I don�t have it all but that I have more than enough. Because of that I still get excited about the small things and what a gift it is to be able to appreciate the small things and not always want more and more.

I�m thankful to God that this entire year I was not sick once. This is a huge blessing considering last year when I was in intensive care and spent 12 days in the hospital and several months on bed rest. I am thankful that I now know how hard it is to not be able to do the things you love simply because your body can�t do it. What a blessing it is for your body to be able to do what you love to do.

I am thankful for my blog friends who have stuck around for years. You have no idea how much some of your comments/emails have come at just the right time to lift a spirit that just a few minutes ago was down. And although many of you I will never meet, I want you to know how thankful I am for you.

I know that the holidays can be a difficult time for so many people (including myself) so I�m sending love to you and praying that you do not feel sadness this year, but instead feel God�s love all around you. Happy Thanksgiving! ♥

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